Deb Hoffmann is sprawled out in all her glory, a two-page centerfold in a book that will sell 4 million copies in more than 100 countries and 25 languages this year, according to its publisher.
Her glory, lest your mind be elsewhere, is in a mattress of yellow and red - her collection of about 4,500 Winnie-the-Pooh bears, sidekicks and memorabilia - surrounding her fully clothed body.
The book is the 2010 Guinness World Records, released in September. It prominently features Waukesha County's Hoffmann and her collection as it stood on Labor Day weekend in 2008. That's when - with the 2008 Guinness record for the largest collection of Pooh stuff in the world already in her back pocket - she was waiting for certification that she held the 2009 record, too.
It must have been coming, she figured, because a photographer and Guinness representatives came by to shoot her picture for the 2010 book of records.The biggest share of her collection fills a spare bedroom in the couple's Town of Vernon two-story home. Most people have the same reaction when they see it.
"It's pretty bad when the people from Guinness say, 'Oh my god!' " Gary said, recalling how they reacted like almost everyone else does. "You know you've got a big collection going on."
The sharpest of readers will note that I gave an estimate - "about 4,500" - for her collection. The truth is that there's no such thing as an estimate when it comes to Guinness and records.Her collection was just more than 4,500 items when the photo was shot, but minus the duplicates, it was officially 4,405. Now, more than a year later, it has surpassed 5,000, she said Thursday.After somebody put the idea in her head in 2006, Deb Hoffmann researched Guinness rules. She decided to submit her collection in 2007 as a potential 2008 record-breaker - one of about 50,000 requests Guinness gets every year.
"It sounded like fun," she said. "It sounded like something to do. Why not?"
The biggest hurdle was the big count. The couple had to photograph and document every single item.
"It took us a year," Deb said. The couple, who own TechAnalysts, a Waukesha custom software and Web design company, used technology to help. Gary built a software database so they could keep tabs on every item. Once the count was done, they needed two reliable people who could verify the count, item by item.
"Then we sent it in and crossed our fingers," Deb said.
After a long wait, the official certificate arrived in the mail, but it was too late for entry in the 2009 book. Even then, only about 30,000 of 160,000 Guinness world records make it into the book.
They went through the process of applying - and documenting the count - again in 2008 for the 2009 record, which appears in the 2010 book.
They had no idea how the photo would play. The shooting took all day, hours of hauling the collection out into the yard, setting them up just so, posing for 125 shots. Then, just 10 minutes before rain started, they hauled them all back inside again.
"We were told it would be worth the wait," Gary said.Indeed. Next to one of the few other prominent pictures in the new book - a gross-out shot of some of the longest rope-like fingernails ever - Deb Hoffmann looks like the star of the show.She wasn't always a collector. She got her first bear 42 years ago from her dad, when she was 2, and she still has it.
Hoffmann added a few here and there and didn't really get serious about expanding her collection until she was out of college and with disposable income. By the mid-'80s, there was also an explosion of new Winnie products as the Disney company discovered that Pooh's yellow fur wasn't the only gold associated with the character.
Her collection includes the typical, from stuffed animals to knickknacks; the functional, from sweat shirts to coffee cups; the unusual, from a Pooh piñata to a vintage puppet; the seasonal, from Christmas ornaments to a Halloween-costumed bear; and the artistic, from a movie animation cel to a publicity poster signed by actors who put voice to the characters.
"Once you get started, it just sort of snowballs," she said. "I think I have this Pooh radar. If there's something yellow and red within 100 miles, I can find it." The couple don't have a value on their collection, but much came from garage sales or as gifts.
Gary Hoffmann doesn't seem to mind that his wife has brought 5,000 or so guests into their house.
"To me, part of marriage is helping your spouse enjoy life," he said, seeming to enjoy it himself.
The couple make annual treks to White River, Ontario, Canada, which claims a central role in the origins of Winnie-the-Pooh. Deb said it was there that a Canadian infantryman bought a small black bear and kept it as the brigade's mascot. He called it "Winnie" for his hometown of Winnipeg.
Later, he donated the bear to the London Zoo in 1918. There it became popular with the son of A.A. Milne, who wrote the first story, combining the antics of Winnie from the zoo with the looks of a yellow stuffed bear named Edward that belonged to Milne's son. "Pooh" supposedly was the name of the family's swan.
For the past 12 years, the couple have participated in "Winnie's Hometown Festival" in White River, a place that practically has adopted them. Deb said at her death, the collection will be donated to the town's Winnie museum.
With a world record to her name - well, two of them, if you count both 2008 and 2009 - what's left, I asked Deb Hoffmann. "I have the collector gene," she said. "I got it bad." So there are more bears. And more years.